They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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