The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
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Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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