I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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