Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
