if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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