thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
