he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I think people are normalizing furries
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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