So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
