Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
