You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
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