i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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