I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
