What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize