I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
