I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
