Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
