I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
