Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.