boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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