i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
