My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize