My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
