I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
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I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
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So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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