If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
