Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
