Dual....:-)
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
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I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
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I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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