And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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