I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize