i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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