And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
