You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just found a bag of teeth...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
