how can u be prego again
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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