Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
