Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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