My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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