i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
