so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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