Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
