so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
