i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
