I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
