I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
