I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
