Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize