it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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