Can Purell be used as lube?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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