So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
