xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
