If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
