Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
