The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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