I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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