I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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