At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
