toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
