so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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