there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This is classic penis vs brain.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
