you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
