I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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