holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
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