I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
