I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
