if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
