What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
