4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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