You're my little dorito
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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