Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
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He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
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walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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