Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
