she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
