I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize