Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
