did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
